What is Love...Baby Don't Hurt Me...

Red hearts, red roses, and little candies with “HUG ME” on them. What’s it all about? Love?

The Romans were good for a lot of things, aqueducts, arches, sewers, grand gladiatorial games. The Romans also had some groovy holidays that became modern ones, like Saturnalia, held on December 25th that became Christmas and Lupercalia, which was held in mid-February, which would eventually become Valentine’s Day. Pope Gelasius I made that happen in about 496ad. Gelasius only rocked the hat for about 4 years, but basically gave us a day of romance.

Lupercalia was conducted by priests called Luperci and started with a sacrifice of goats and a dog. Then the priests went to the alter to have their foreheads anointed with the blood. The blood would be wiped off with milk soaked wool while two men would laugh (really!), then came the feast! After the feast, the priests would fashion thongs out of the skin of the sacrificed animals and ran around snapping the thongs at women. Any woman it touched would be thought to become fertile. Other events, like the pairing off of men and women by lottery would take place. And, we thought our date night rituals hard to contend with.

According to legend, a priest named Valentine was imprisoned and about to be martyred by Roman emperor Claudius II Gothicus. He befriended and, some say, cured his jailer’s daughter of blindness,. In a letter to her, right before he died, he signed a letter to her as “from your Valentine”.

By the 1500’s people were sending formal letters or Valentines. By the 1800’s companies were printing cards for consumers to purchase and send. In another Roman connection, cards usually featured Cupid, the Roman god of love. As is tradition that still exists, cards, candy and flowers were typical gifts, especially red roses, which became the symbol of love.

In the United States, we send about 190 million Valentine’s through the mail each year, and, anyone with kids can tell you, 20-30 to their kids’ classes each year. There’s an near $190 million spent on Valentine’s each year, averaging about $135 bucks per person. Has it all become to commercial and Hallmark?

Getting the right thing for your Valentine can be frustrating. Stick with the traditional heart shaped box of chocolates, reservations for that French restaurant, red roses sent to the workplace? In this country, any opportunity to shower your lover with affection, and assist the economy is probably a good thing. There is, however, that sense that most people have that Valentine’s has a, sort of, obligation to it, making it decidedly less fun and something to deal with.

I remember an ex describing a former boyfriend giving her card made from an empty cigarette box. It’s the thought that counts, though, right! I think it’s nice just having someone ask you to be their Valentine. She listed off a bunch of stuff she gave to him: homemade cookies, the new cassette of his favorite band, a card, etc. A few years later, she was still hurt over this episode. Have you ever been disappointed on Valentine’s Day?

We think you should just bypass all that commercialism and disappointment and invite people over, play some games and enjoy the company.

As always, play more games.